Researchers have been hypothesizing about the father’s role
in the life of his child. It has been suggested that the father’s support of
mom’s choice to breastfeed can significantly impact her success: “69%
of the mothers were still breastfeeding at six months postpartum, compared with
a national average of 21% (1).” There is
even a study that shows how breastfeeding for any length of time can actually
improve the quality of relationship and intimacy of the mother and father (2). Who knew? My own life experiences can
validate these studies 100%. I am always
encouraging the moms that I work with to bring the baby’s father if possible.
The more he knows about the breastfeeding experience, the more he can directly
assist and cheer on his wife/girlfriend in the moments of anxiety and panic.
His involvement will impact them as a family.
I know that my husband would often say how, while the
children were babies and very young, his presence wasn’t as important. Mommy is
the person they want and need. And while that is true, I used to argue that he
made a difference whether they remembered (which they did) or not and whether
or not he could notice the difference. Since I was there with or without him, I
watched how the children’s dispositions changed throughout the whole experience
based on daddy’s nearness. And more importantly, how my own disposition would
waver as well, which affects everything (aka: everyone) within the household.
I’m not sure I can emphasize enough this truth: Dads matter. They impact their
child from the first seconds of baby’s life on the other side, to the first
steps, first words, first full night of sleep all through to the major
decisions of adolescence and adulthood.
The first year of our oldest son was one of the most trying
since he was living and working in NYC and I had chosen to stay in central NY,
in our home, near the baby’s Dr., and my side of the family. Every other
weekend or so, he would come join us in our home that I had continuously worked
on in his absence. Then once every couple months, I would make an extended trip
to stay in NYC with him in his mom’s teeny apartment, with no room for a small
family, with a newborn who refused to sleep, and cried, a lot…. It was NOT
easy. His love, support, and
encouragement got me through those trial-ridden days of struggle, adjustment,
and hormonal swings. Without him
cheering me on and advocating for my (our) choice to breastfeed exclusively, I
can honestly say that I would not have been so successful with my new venture
into motherhood. He made every difference for the better and he most certainly
can take plenty of credit for the health and behavior of our children. So, despite the distance and lack of his
company 24/7, his verbal and emotional support still had an amazing impact on
my spirits and determination. I suppose that only love can have such a strong
influence over the miles, and if we have nothing else, we truly are blessed
with much love. Love for each other, love for our beautiful boys, and love for
and from our families and friends.
1.
http://www.fatherhoodinstitute.org/2007/fatherhood-institute-research-summary-fathers-and-breastfeeding/
2.
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3411344/
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