SNUGGLES

It's starting to get chilly here in the Northeast. It's the time of year for chunky sweaters, extra blankets, and all things pumpkin. It's also that time of year where I love having someone to cozy up with. Whether it's my partner in life, my rambunctious little boys, or my warm, furry puppy dog, I love having someone to snuggle with. No one is better at snuggling than a tiny bundle of sweet baby!

If ever you needed an excuse to cuddle your infant, here's a good one! As the days get shorter and colder, it comes even more naturally to want to hold your baby close to keep the chill away from both your little one and yourself. But did you know with all those extra cuddles comes so many benefits? Firstly, by holding your baby you give him more opportunity to nurse! While he's hanging out right there in the "breastaurant," you can catch those subtle cues of hunger and rooting, giving you the chance to latch him before he's too upset to nurse. That's one fantastic benefit! More milk means more health benefits!!
What's more is that as the outside temperatures begin to dip, mom can keep her baby's body temperature regulated and comfortable just by keeping baby on her chest. We love to bundle up our babies, trying to keep away the chill, but all our worries would be alleviated if we just hold our babies close! How simple is that?
Not just that, but moms get a rush of endorphins with each warm squeeze and sweet scent of their baby, making mom feel happier and more relaxed... What mom doesn't need that?
Also, research has proven that babies who are held more, cry less! What an incentive!! Not only will you solve your frustrations of "why is the baby crying?!" But the baby is less stressed allowing him/her to develop and grow more effectively. So snuggle your baby! Wear your baby everywhere and throughout your daily routine. And enjoy all the nice bonuses that come with every cuddle!!

Starting to post videos on youtube! It's official! :D

I just want to help....

I've recently had some moms who are really struggling with their confidence in themselves and their decision to breastfeed. Granted, I remember those first few months myself.... In fact, the only parts I vividly remember was breastfeeding and all the frustration, worry, anxiety, pain, and exhaustion that came with constant nursing sessions day and night. All the other details of those days are blurry. I didn't really live, I just sort of existed. So, when I hear a mom desperate to get her sanity back, all I want to do is hug her. There is no consoling her about the actual moment she's currently in. The only thing that I can say is that, if you can get through this, you'll be immersed in baby snuggles, love high, and the pride and satisfaction that only comes with persevering through the storm. Unfortunately, none of that seems very relevant or is difficult to process and grasp when you're stuck in the new mommy fog. So, what do I do?

I have a few options.

1. Attempt to convince her to keep going. Remind her of the brevity of this time and inundate her with suggestions, information, and tips she can try.

2. Try to find a compromise between latching, pumping, and formula. I believe that combining any or all of these can be just the right recipe for success for particular moms in unique situations. And any amount of breast milk is better than none at all. Is it ideal, not necessarily, but that's what a compromise is. ;)

3. Let her quit and be there through the weaning process. Encourage her that she can always try again if she has another baby and that just because she's going to formula feed, does NOT mean she's in any way a bad mother.

Really, I just want to help. I want to be supportive. Motherhood is trying and exhausting and we are ALL struggling to do our best. So, that's where I am. I'm trying to reassure my clients that they are doing their best and that they will get through the hard times. I try to say to them, what I would've liked to hear in those moments. I'm more than happy to be a cheerleader for motherhood.

What about you?
What would you want to hear in the moments of fatigued frustration that is motherhood?

I'm baaaaaack

Hey everyone. I should apologize for my small hiatus from writing. I've been incredibly busy, although who isn't around this time of year? Nonetheless, it is pretty shameful that I haven't been writing about breastfeeding through world breastfeeding week/month. So for that, let me put my 2 cents in about World Black Breastfeeding Month. Yes. I'm going there. ;) 

 First of all, it is not as well-recognized as the last week in August the way the first week in August is known as World Breastfeeding Week. I think this is in part due to the fact that it has been newly established. This is only the 3rd annual celebration, so it truly is new and mostly unknown. This year's theme is Lift Every Baby. I love that idea because it puts the focus on where it belongs. The choice to breastfeed is really about the baby first and establishing good health and a deep bond that will form a foundation of love, security, and a stronger life.

 Apparently, not everyone is on board with celebrating Black Breastfeeding Week... There is actual controversy online and in the narrow stream of lactation news and media. That's Crazy, right? Am I the only one who thinks this is nuts? Honestly, all lactating mothers have so many obstacles (especially in this country) to overcome: physical, hormonal, emotional, and social. The battle to normalize public breastfeeding is an uphill battle for us all here in the United States, why are we causing more challenges to an already challenging goal by throwing our arms up at supporting black mamas who want to breastfeed? I fear the upset derives from an unawareness of the different adversities that African- American or Black women face in their pursuit to breastfeed their babies. Now, I'm certainly not going to claim that I know everything that Black moms face here, because, for one, I'm not Black. I was not raised by Black parents nor did I grow up in a predominantly Black neighborhood or school. What I do know is what I hear from the Black moms that I interact with and good old polls and statistics.

   "The gap between black and white breastfeeding initiation rates narrowed from 24 percentage points in 2000 to 16 percentage points in 2008." This progress doesn't just happen. It comes with specific outreach and support for the moms who don't relate with the mainstream services and counseling. A black mother has formula shoved at her by the hospitals, pediatricians, family, and friends from the first second the baby is born. She is also harassed incessantly by her community (often by those close to her) for her choice to breastfeed, and not just in public. And most Black moms don't have support groups or lactation counseling near them, often not even in the same neighborhood, as well as a lack of dependable transportation. Many don't have enough financial or marital support at home, so they NEED to work outside of the home right away, decreasing their chance of success at establishing a good latch and milk supply. And these are just the obstacles I'm aware of. Without stepping into someone else's world, we will not have a significant impact with the women we work with and it'd be a near impossibility to advise them through their unique challenges. This goes for all women, but most especially for women of different classes, backgrounds, cultures, and ethnicities. I encourage you to read this post about the trials that a mom of mixed race faced while breastfeeding. 

In the end, we need to step back from the lense we're looking through and remember that other women are trying to do their best to work through their own trials. Let's love and support each other as women and mothers. And remember to put others and their needs before ourselves. I don't think we're beyond applying the principles that Laci and Franchesca lay out for understanding intersectional feminism to the lactating world.  



Credit for the touching photos in this post goes to my brown baby. Check it out for more stories.

The Family Reunion

Last weekend my dad's family had a big Family reunion, the first in years! First one my husband has ever attended. It was something! Let me back up a minute. Both my parents come from rather large families... Rather large, LOUD families at that. The loud part isn't too daunting to a Dominican, Lord knows I've attended his rambunctious family get-togethers, but I'm OK with loud, as is he. We've done the reunions on my mom's side, which quite honestly can be a bit scary for other reasons, but we've gotten through surprisingly well. So, here we go, off to meet more paternal family... All. at. once. This is gonna be good.

My father's family is "huggy," overbearing, and chatty... And soooo generous and open-hearted. As overwhelming as it could've been (or was), I'm so proud of my hubby. He took it all in stride while I basically abandoned him. I tried to catch up a lil bit with everybody while chasing accident prone boys and dealing with unexpected poopy accidents. {Yes, we're still potty training. No, we STILL have not perfected it after the last 6 months.} But basically we could call the weekend a success.

 He loved getting to know my family and I think my family embraced him as well. I give credit to his social butterfly tendencies and my sincere, loving aunts, uncles, and cousins. Bringing families together can sometimes create drama and problems. Everyone's family has some crazy in it, but it's when you embrace the crazy, rise above the drama, and remember the love that an opportunity is created to genuinely connect with long lost friends. And also with different, new members and their cultures. Regardless of our differences, I say: Long live family.

Just the Basics

Smart phones, MP3 players, Tablets/pads, notebook/netbook/laptop, go cameras, drones, self-sanitizing electric toothbrushes, Bluetooth, wifi hotspots, high-tech watches and pedometers, laser keyboards, and the list just goes on! Let’s face it, we love our gadgets!

If nothing else, the 21^st century has brought us technology that keeps advancing and makes life a bit more interesting, er… distracting. Some devices truly make life a bit easier and more pleasant: Blenders that can pulverize ice and puree anything with the tap of a button, washing machines that can pre-treat, pre wash, and steam clean, and even babies have it better too! Now there are baby swings that sense when the baby stirs and they gently rock her back to sleep! Where was this when my kids were teeny? As I was walking among the aisles of bottle steamers and wipe warmers, a thought occurred to me:

“In a world of gadgets and gizmos galore, is Breastfeeding too simplistic?”

At least half of the breastfeeding moms I interact with pump daily, and many of them want a pump available to them while still waddling around pregnant. Now don’t get me wrong, a good hand or electric pump has its place in the mommy world, but do we automatically think of pumping when we think of breastfeeding? Should they be associated with each other so naturally? I actually wonder if moms aren’t comfortable with the concept: all they need is the baby and the boob. Nothing else is necessary to properly feed your baby. I’m pretty sure that’s a strange concept to the younger generation, and maybe that’s also why having bottles, nipples, and warmers involved with the feeding process feels more comfortable to us. We want the tangibles. We want the extra steps of measuring, mixing, and checking the temp.  We want to SEE what exactly is going into the baby’s tummy, because trusting ourselves and the inherent process of nursing is too mysterious for us. Precision is the name of the game, and breastfeeding is anything but precise.

I am of the belief that all these devices can be absolutely helpful,... but sidetracking. I think we need to pause and take a break from the “tools” and soak in the quiet, focused moments of watching your baby eat, listening to him swallow and breathe, and enjoy every touch to your face his tiny fingers make while he scrupulously looks at you.  That is what motherhood is made up of. I can almost guarantee you won’t be warmly looking back on your memories of pumping alone in a room while trying not to spill a drop of your expressed milk. The small, fleeting moments with our baby in the quiet peace of nursing; that’s what leaves a lasting impression.

How has pumping been implemented into your breastfeeding experience? 

What are your thoughts on the pumping vs. nursing experience?

Dear insurance companies: what are you thinking?

There was a time when insurance companies didn't cover almost anything without a good fight from the recipient or carrier. Apparently, that time is still present. Although I'm not the biggest fan of socialized healthcare, the Affordable Care Act (1) has put into motion a fantastic idea that should have been part of all insurance policies prior to this act. It is now federally and state mandated that insurance companies cover equipment and services for lactating women and breastfeeding babies.

 This should be common sense for insurance companies because not only does it improve the health of the baby which equals fewer doctor visits thus fewer payouts, but it also comes with health benefits to the mother; again fewer problems equals less money to pay for the insurance company. However, from my experience of dealing with the insurance companies to cover pumps and other services it is as painful as pulling teeth. It's a lot of denial and a constant battle on the part of the pregnant hormonal Mom, as well as her health care providers. So I ask: insurance companies, what are you thinking? It is in your best interest to help the client by covering preventive medicine so that it will cost less to cover the client in the long run. And by the way, in case you weren't aware, [exclusively] breastfeeding your baby for 6 months to a year is preventive medicine. It's a small initial investment with a huge, rewarding, long term pay off. Why are you fighting this? And why is it even an issue to fight? This is in your best interest as well as in the best interest of society as a whole.

 I'm not just pleading with the practical economical side of your rationale, I'm also imploring with the moral, just side. Now I understand that as an insurance company there's a slim to 0 chance that there are any ethics or morals attached to your way of doing business, but all joking aside, is there one company that doesn't want to step forward to say, "hey let me lead the way in making a brighter and better life and future for this country?" And not just for this country, but to lead the way for the world to follow by showing that we support moms and babies who want to do what's best for them. To all the moms who are struggling for coverage for electric or manual pumps, consulting services to help with latch issues, supply issues or whatever, don't give up hope. Call that Complaint Centers of your insurance providers and make some NOISE! That way we can start seeing change. And if you're denied, don't give up! Go to your nearest WIC clinic, hospital, or pregnancy and/or pediatric center to get the help and support you need. There are people employed to help you get all the equipment and services that could ensure your success as a breastfeeding mom. Persevere through this trialsome time and I pray that we will see change very, very soon!

Now I'm curious:
Are you struggling or have struggled with your insurance coverage on any sort of breastfeeding services/support?
What have you done to get what you need?